There’s a moment I see frequently. A smart, capable leader sits in a meeting. They’ve got the idea, a good one, but they hesitate. Someone else speaks. The moment passes. The meeting moves on. Afterwards, they say something like:
“I should’ve said it… but it wasn’t fully formed.”
“They wouldn’t have gone for it anyway.”
“I need to think it through more before I speak up.”
And just like that, a story has done its job. Not the kind of story you tell on a stage, but the internal kind that quietly runs your leadership from behind the scenes. This is leadership storytelling and whether you realise it or not, it’s shaping how you show up, how you’re perceived, and the leader you’re becoming.
You’re Already Telling Stories (Even When You Think You’re Not)
You already telling yourself stories.
- In how you explain your decisions
- In how you position your ideas
- In what you say (and don’t say) in meetings
- In the running commentary inside your own head
Now the question is are those stories working for you… or quietly keeping you small?
Because from the many years I’ve worked with leaders I know this….Before leaders change direction, they justify staying where they are.
With logic, evidence and some very convincing, very sensible stories.
“This is just how it is.”
“This won’t work here.”
“I’m not that kind of leader.”
They all sound reasonable, don’t they, which is why they’re dangerous.
The Story That Keeps You Safe
Let me tell you about Sarah. (Not her real name, but her story is.)
Sarah was an experienced leader in a large organisation. Sharp, thoughtful and well respected. On paper, she was ready for the next level. However, she kept getting overlooked. When we started working together, she told me “I think I just need more experience.”
Except… that wasn’t true.
When we dug a little deeper, a different story emerged:
- “I don’t want to come across as pushy.”
- “Senior leaders must have strong opinions.”
- “I need to be 100% sure before I speak.”
This wasn’t about needing more experience; there was no capability gap. Instead, there was a story about who she was allowed to be. This story had helped her be thoughtful, measured, and likeable. Yet now it was quietly costing her visibility, influence, and progression.
Leadership Identity Is Built on Narrative (Not Just Skill)
Most leadership development focuses on skills. Things like Communication, Strategy. Decision-making. All useful and important. Yet whilst you learn those skills, something else is running underneath. Your leadership identity is shaped by the stories you believe about yourself.
If your internal narrative says:
- “I’m not ready yet”
- “I need to prove myself first”
- “I’m better behind the scenes”
Then guess what, you will act in ways that make that story true. You’ll hold back, over-prepare, or wait for permission that never arrives. And from the outside, people don’t see your potential; they see your pattern.
The Invisible Stories Others Experience
The stories you tell yourself don’t stay internal. They leak. Into your tone, your timing, your presence. So while you’re thinking: “I’m just being careful.” Others might be experiencing:
“They’re hesitant.”
“They’re not confident.”
“They’re not quite ready.”
Because your behaviour is telling a story on your behalf. Leadership is, in many ways, a perception game. And perception is shaped by narrative.
The Stories You Tell Out Loud
Then there’s the other side of storytelling, the visible kind. The stories you tell in meetings, presentations, and conversations. This is where many leaders fall into a different trap.
They default to Data/Detail/Logic.
All solid and necessary, just harder to remember. We’re wired for meaning and meaning travels through story. A well-told story doesn’t just explain an idea. It makes people feel it. It helps them see themselves in it. It gives your message somewhere to land. Without that, you might make sense, but you won’t make the same impact.
The Turning Point: Awareness
Let’s go back to Sarah. The shift didn’t come from learning a new framework or technique. It came from one question “What story are you telling about yourself right now?” And “Is it still true?”
Most of your internal stories were written years ago. In different environments. With different stakes. By a version of you who was doing their best with what they knew. They were useful then. But I suspect they are wildly outdated now.
Rewriting the Internal Story
Now, this is not about standing in front of a mirror saying: “I am a powerful, confident leader.” I mean if that works for you, fine. However here are 4 steps that will uncover your edge.
Step 1. Name the Current Story
Time for some honesty. What are you actually telling yourself?
“I’m not ready.”
“I don’t want to get it wrong.”
“They won’t listen anyway.”
You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge.
Step 2. Find the Cost
Ask yourself:
- What is this story costing me?
- What is it costing my team?
- What is it costing the business?
Because staying small doesn’t just affect you. It affects every decision you don’t influence. Every idea that doesn’t land. Every person who needed you to step up and didn’t get that version of you.
Step 3. Choose a New Story (That You Can Live/Grow Into)
Look for an upgraded version. Instead of “I need to be 100% sure before I speak.” Try “I can contribute value even when things aren’t fully formed.”
Instead of “I’m not ready yet.” What about “I’m figuring this out as I go and that’s OK.”
This isn’t about pretending, it’s about expanding what’s possible for you.
Step 4. Back It Up With Behaviour
Stories change through action. So ask yourself:
- What would this version of me do in the next meeting?
- What would I say differently?
- Where would I show up more visibly?
And then do that, again and again and again. And with repetition comes confidence.
What Happened Next
Sarah didn’t suddenly become a different person. She didn’t start dominating meetings or throwing around buzzwords. She made one small shift, she started speaking up earlier. Sharing her thoughts and ideas. They weren’t always fully formed or perfect, however people listened. Conversations happened. Ideas were built on, or accepted and executed. Fast forward a few months and Sarah stepped into a bigger role, same organisation, same capability, but she was running a different internal story.
The Leader You Become Is a Story You Choose
If there’s one thing to take from this, it’s that you don’t become a different leader by accident. You become one by changing the story you’re willing to live inside.
The one about:
- Who you are
- What you’re capable of
- How you show up
- And what you’re here to do
What story are you currently living inside… and is it shaping the leader you actually want to become?
Because if it’s not, you get to rewrite it. You can do that today, tomorrow, next week, next year. You decide.
Ready to Make Your External Message Land?
If you’ve ever thought “I know my stuff… but it’s not landing the way it should.” Then StoryPower changes that, you’ll learn how to craft and tell stories that don’t just sound good, they shift perception, build credibility, and make your ideas stick.